More Visitation Issues

Thursday Feb. 24, 2011
Don was supposed to take the kids but neither wanted to go with him. When Andrew told him he said he was disappointed and his feelings were hurt. He said and i have this text " u and katelyn need to be here tonight... i dont get to see you two very often n i want to spend all the time i can with you, you both need to be here at 6." Andrew again told him he didnt feel good and didnt want to go anywhere and katelyn had gymnastics. Katelyn also told him she didnt want to go but then again she hasn't been to his house since christmas and before that it had been a year. I set up 2 lunch meetings with Don and katelyn to meet and have lunch to begin building a relationship and he no showed for both of them. the 1st time he said katelyn never called him to remind him and when i asked if he called her, he said no. I told him that he was the parent and he was supposed to be the responsible one and remember those things and call to remind her. The 2nd time I sent a letter to him, plus i texted him and emailed him the date and time and he used the excuse that i didnt call and remind him. When i told him i had emailed texted and sent a letter he claimed he never got it when in fact he had for sure because he replied to both the email and text messages. which again i have copies of. Then he said that he didn't recieve any of it but in fact he had because again he replied to atleast 2 of them. He proved to Katelyn that he doesnt really want to see her or spend time with her or interested in rebuilding a relationship. I believe the only reason he is still involved with the kids at this point is because he knows that the courts are still keeping an eye on the case. I say that because if he does take the kids he continues to bring them home early from visitation or not take them at all at times. Back to the 24th.
He then texts me the same thing he texts andrew. I told him it was between him and the kids not me. I try to stay out of all that. the kids are old enough to make up their minds about when they want to see him and when they dont. I still encourage a relationship, but they are so used to not seeing him very often so it doesnt bother them to be away from him for long periods of time. He then says to me "it is your responsibility as a parent to assure things are being done... u r supposed to have them both here by 6 i'm not playing games either they are here or will file a report everytime they aren't here as ordered by the court." I told him to do what he has to do and that andrew was now saying he didnt want to go for the weekend either and that he knows now why katelyn wont go with him. I also told don he was welcome to come by the house and see the kids which he did not do. He then proceeded to tell me that it "is ur responsibility to have the kids here by 6 so says the court. you know what will happen if they are not here. i'm no longer playing ur games any longer" However, I"m not playing games. This is between him and his kids not me. I just said ok. "if this was the only time this happened i wouldn't care so much however this is the 3rd time" (which i dont know where he gets that ) in the past few months he hasn't come out i've been understanding and patient tired of you not doing what your supposed to." Which i have been doing my part by taking the kids to his house and letting them decide to stay or not and also by encouraging them to go with an emotional and physical abusive father. Andrew told me again at 8pm thursday when i told him to tell his dad how he feels and i told him that he needed to sit down with his dad and talk to him about all this. He said " I cant" i asked why. he said"because dad gets mad and spanks me" i said because you tell him how you feel and he said "yes"
So the next thing that happens is the Salina PD call me and ask what's going on. I told them that the kids didn't want to go to their dads house. PD asked me if there was a court order that they were supposed to be there and I said yes that they go one night a week and every other weekend and the weekday is not a set day just that whatever works for everyone's schedule but of course with don its whatever works with his schedule and who cares about what everyone else has planned. PD told me that because i was not breaking any court order that he was gonna call don back which by the way don said he didnt have a court order for his visitations. How does he not have one? He was gonna tell don that i was not breaking any court order and if he wanted a specific night of the week he would have to take me back to court. That really pissed him off. He was absolutely livid about it and the next text reads " So you can prepare...I will no longer be taking the kids to school if they can't come out and spend time with me nor will I assist you with anything until u do as u should by bringing them out here n making sure they are home for me to pick them up as they are supposed to be. I will expect the kids to be ready to be picked up friday shortly after 6pm if not i will file a report again." I responded by telling him that i willl continue bringing them out and them being home when it is his visitation but i can't force them to go if they decide that they do not want to go. i will also continue to encourage. that statement was the same thing he said to katelyn 2 yrs ago when one time she wanted to spend the weekend with friends and he told her that he would never do anything for her again if she couldn't come out on his weekends. this is where the relationship with her dad dwindled. I reminded him that i expected him to take the kids and by telling me and the kids (which he told andrew he wouldn't be taking them to school either), that by doing that he was only showing the kids that he really didnt want to spend time with them as he was cutting out the 2 days a week that he was guaranteed to see his kids even if for a few minutes before school. I also told him that i would not longer support or encourage an abusive relationship where he was treating the kids like shit. I then again tried to give him a hand on what he is doing to the kids and how he hurts them and not me. I reminded him that we predicted that he would do that and that he should probably be discussing this with his kids and not with me because it affects them and not me. I dont care if he takes them to school or not it doesnt hurt my feelings if he doesn't but that it shows his kids alot and shows them he doesnt really want to spend extra time with them. I also reminded him thurs and fri was his responsibility. I told him he had only a little while before they are grown to make or break his relationship with the kids so he better pick and choose what he really wants to do. The next night is friday night.