Cops called again for visitation issue

March 11,2011

So it's Don's visitation weekend again and Katelyn refused to go again despite me telling her that she needs to spend time with her dad, although she has been sick all week as Andrew was last week and Don made an agreement with Andrew that because he was sick he would not take him for visitation so he could get well. When Don decides not to take Andrew, he doesnt even discuss or ask Katelyn if she wants to do something or spend time with him. If Andrew doesn't go with his Dad, Don doesnt complain about Katelyn not going, in fact I offered time with Katelyn on March 3 which was a wednesday night, since Andrew was sick I thought it was a good opportunity for him to spend one on one time with Katelyn, so I asked him if he was in town which he said he wasnt but then i asked if he would like to come in and spend a little time with Katelyn taking her shopping to finish getting ready for the ski trip. He said he was not coming into town until his workplace called saying his check was ready to be picked up. He knew Katelyn had Youth group which I said she could be a little late and I would take her to target so he wouldnt have to drive all the way into town and that would give them an hour to shop and spend time together and then he could drop her off at youth group. It was more important to sit at home and wait for his paycheck then to come in and spend an hour with his daughter. I dont understand why he couldnt meet Katelyn at Target and shop with her while he waited for his check. It just doesnt make any sense to me but then when she doesnt want to go for a weekend visitation he gets mad and calls the cops on her. But when you think about it, if he's showing her he doesnt care about her and doesnt want to spend time with her, then i guess you can understand that she feels like he doesnt care to spend time with her when we offer or she wants to so why should she care to spend time with him when he wants her too. Its a lot of MENTAL ABUSE, JUST LIKE HE WAS AND STILL IS WITH ME. I GUESS IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL, HE MENTALLY ABUSES EVERY GIRL HE KNOWS INCLUDING HIS OWN DAUGHTER. HOWEVER, HE DOES MENTALLY ABUSE HIS SON ALSO. I WANT IT TO STOP. I HOPE THE JUDGE WILL MAKE HIM STOP MENTALLY ABUSING THE KIDS AND GET HELP SO THE KIDS ARE NOT SCARED OF HIM ANYMORE.
Kodi no longer goes out to Don's because of what don has done in the past few months. my kids are very protective of me especially kodi and when someone tries to hurt me, my kids protect me especially kodi.
So back to tonight, when katelyn told don she didnt want to go and wasn't going he called the cops again. when they finally showed up, i showed the cops the copies of emails and text messages of the many times i have set up lunch dates with katelyn where don has not showed up. I also explained to the officer that Katelyn has not been to his house in 2 years except for christmas eve. Don tends to lie to get people to take his side not telling them the whole story, just like with all the letters from my attorney that came from his attorney where his attorney says i'm not doing anything to force visitation when in fact i have by setting up lunch dates. he doesnt tell his attorney that i have set up meetings and encouraged katelyn to meet him and to build a relationship with her father, however when he doesnt show up it's hard for her to build that relationship. He's always lying about things like that because he wants to look good and make me look bad, but when his attorney sees all this in court she will be shocked that he has lied all this time. Just like when he lied to the police. They spoke with Katelyn alone in her room and as i heard some of it i didnt hear everything but did hear him ask what happened with her dad and she told him that she wasnt allowed at his house for a while, something even i wasn't aware that he had said to her. The officer asked if she wanted a relationship with her dad and she said not really, when he asked if she was willing to try to get to know her dad she said she didnt really want to but he got her to say maybe. She told the officer that she was sick and didnt feel up to going and he asked if she went to school which in fact she had missed most of the week due to being sick and running a fever again thursday night which is why i had to keep her home again friday. she did she a dr last week which the dr ordered her to stay home for 3 days, she tried to go back to school on thursday which was not a good idea because she ended up with a fever again friday. I have made her stay in all weekend and will only be allowed to go to church on sunday. after the officer spoke with me again, he went out to tell don he was not forcing her to go with him and I was able to talk katelyn into another lunch date with her dad which we set up with the officer so that i had a witness to setting up another meeting. When he asked don if he could meet us at 1215 Sunday for lunch with his daughter at mcdonalds on planet ave which i heard him tell don all this, don said that he needed a reminder text. I told the officer "dont you think if his daughter was important to him that he would remember a lunch date 2 days later. not like its a month away. The officer agreed that if he really wanted a relationship with katelyn that he would remember and he would do anything including "crawling through glass to see his kids". I agreed to send a reminder text even though i felt that was not my responsibility to remind him. I was going to be the bigger person.
So today, March 12,2011 at approx 6 pm, I sent him a reminder text saying lunch with katelyn tomorrow. He's always trying to start shit with me so he said i need to know where and what time and i said exactly what we set up with the cops last night. then he had to throw "your being uncooperative thanks for showing me that your unwilling" WHAT EVER JEEZ I CANT WIN.  I sent a reminder text what does he want me to do go pick him up and take him to meet her because he can't remember because she is not important to him. do i have to force him to show up. holy crap its just so old being put down all the time no matter how hard i try to be nice. its so hard to be nice to someone like that. i told him that i was doing more than i even should be doing by reminding you, i didnt have to do that at all, but i did. then he tried to say that the cops never told him where or what time. ANOTHER LIE I HEARD THE COPS TELL HIM 1215 AT MCDONALDS ON  PLANET AVE. WELL GUESS WE WILL SEE IF HE SHOWS UP TOMORROW. I HIGHLY DOUBT HE WILL. HE PROBABLY DOESNT REMEMBER WHAT TIME EVEN THOUGH I REMINDED HIM AGAIN TONIGHT. I ALSO SENT AN EMAIL WITH ALL THE DETAILS.
WE GO BACK TO COURT ON MONDAY, I'M ACTUALLY EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THE JUDGE THINKS WHEN HE HEARS EVERYTHING I'VE DONE AND REALIZES ALL THE LIES DON HAS TOLD SINCE COURT IN DECEMBER AND TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS ATTORNEY'S FACE WILL BE PRICELESS.
SHE PROBABLY DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT THE FIRST WEEKEND HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE KIDS AFTER THE LAST COURT HEARING WHEN THE JUDGE TOLD HIM HE COULDNT GO OUT AND HAVE FUN THAT HE HAD KIDS NOW AND THEY WERE TO COME FIRST, HE DROPPED THEM OFF WITH ME AFTER SPENDING ONE HOUR WITH THEM ON DECEMBER 31ST, SO THAT HE COULD GO OUT FOR NEW YEARS EVE. HE DIDNT WANT THEM LIKE HE SAID HE DID IN COURT. I'M THINKING THE JUDGE WONT LIKE THAT AT ALL. I ONLY PRAY HE SEES AND HEARS EVERYTHING THAT DON HAS SCREWED UP SINCE DECEMBER 20TH 2010.
OH ONE MORE THING, DON DIDNT SHOW UP TO TAKE THE KIDS TO SCHOOL THURSDAY MORNING SO I HAD TO TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL. I RECIEVED A TEXT AT 800AM SAYING HE FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH AND NEVER HEARD ANYTHING FROM ANDREW. ALWAYS BLAMING HIS SCREW UPS ON OTHER PEOPLE WHETHER ITS ME OR HIS KIDS. IT WAS ANDREWS FAULT HE DIDNT GET UP TO TAKE THE KIDS TO SCHOOL. ITS NOT ANDREWS RESPONSIBILITY, ITS DON'S. HE KNOWS HE HAS TO TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL EVERY THURSDAY AND FRIDAY AND HE BLAMES ANDREW. WOW HE IS SOMETHING ELSE.
WELL I WILL WRITE TOMORROW ABOUT VISITATION WITH KATELYN IF HE SHOWS UP.

Continued Feb 25th post More visitation issues

Don told the kids and me after the kids decided they didnt want to go out to his house for visitation thursday Feb. 24th that I should prepare that he was no longer going to be taking the kids to school on Thursday and Fridays because they would not come out and visit. he was no longer going to help them or me until they could go visit him. I told Don that it didn't matter to me, that it doesn't hurt me by him not taking them to school because i can take them every morning, but that he was hurting the kids by denying them an opportunity to spend time with their dad 2 mornings a week. He tries so hard to hurt me but doesnt realize that he hurts the kids in the process. How do you think it makes the kids feel that their dad doesnt want to help them or see them 2 extra days a week? I know if i was in their shoes i would hurt because even as their mother I hurt for them. Everytime he hurts them, he does hurt me because my heart goes out to them as I feel their pain. They are such special kids and I love them so much. I Thank God everyday for giving me a chance to be with my kids, to be able to spend as much time with them as possible. I have offered Don so much extra time with the kids even opening up my home, (even though I dont want him at my house or around me), so that he can stop by any extra time he has to spend some extra time with the kids, especially if they decide they dont want to go to his house for one night, but he proves over and over again that he doesnt want any extra time with them. He complains if I ask if he can watch the kids or stop by and check on Andrew or Katelyn if they happen to be sick saying it's not his weekend. I want things to be different, I want the kids to be able to go out to their dads any day of the week or weekend instead of just having one set night. I want Don to want that too if we continue to live in Kansas. If they dont want to go on Thursday, I want Don to respect that and say to his kids "OK lets do something tomorrow night or the next night or next night whatever works" He is welcome to take the kids whenever he wants to even if its not his weekend or weekday. I have told him that he is welcome to take the kids any day of the week, anytime as long as we dont have plans.

More visitation issues

Friday Feb 25 2011
Don shows up at 615 to pick the kids up for his weekend. both the kids go out to his car to talk to him and to let him know they don't want to go with him. It was taking a long time so i finally went outside to see what was going on. Don was badgering them and yelling at them about going with him. They both repeatedly said they didn't want to go. Again, Katelyn hasn't been to her dads house for a weekend in years. To stop the yelling and arguing back and forth, I told the kids that if they were going with me (as i had to leave), then they needed to get in the car. After another few choice words by don he then said i will be by tomorow to pick you guys up. Saturday between 3 and 6 pm. they were both home at the time he came by around 315. I wasn't home, as i was working. He brought the Salina PD with them. I wasn't here to hear what was said or done but all i know is kodi said that don told the kids that if they didnt go with him i was going to jail. kodi came by my work to tell me that. Andrew went with him but katelyn still wouldnt go. So i told don by scaring the kids into going with him was not the answer to the problem that it was only going to make the situation worse. That he needed to grow up and find a different way to deal with this issue. you know we shouldn't have to wait at the house for 3 hours for him to show up to pick the kids up in the first place but we did. I made sure the kids were to stay home until dad showed up to pick them up. I went above and beyond what i need to do to make sure the kids are home at pickup time. So andrew goes with him and he continually tells me that i need to force the kids to go with him but then when he takes Andrew to his house for his weekend visit which this weekend began at 3 pm on Saturday, he brings andrew home at 230pm on Sunday afternoon instead of keeping him until 6. So i am supposed to force them to go with him when he can't even force them to stay when they are with him??? If Don wont even keep them for the entire time he is supposed to have the kids, how am i supposed to force them to go with him in the first place?? It doesnt make any sense to me. Don continues to take Andrew on Friday night and brings him home first thing Saturday morning while he works, then doesn't show up to pick them back up until 7 pm Saturday night when he gets off work by or before 6pm. there is no winning with don. it's always his way or no way and it's always all my fault. but after what he told katelyn 2 years ago almost the exact words as he said thursday night when he told katelyn and this was said in court that is she wouldn't come out and see him he was never gonna do anything for her again. He has kept his word on that. he has never helped her since then and doesn't even get her a birthday card for her birthday. It's crazy how i predicted all this in court and all of it has happened just like i said it would. He showed up Friday morning to take the kids to school but only because Andrew continually asked him if he was going to but didnt even give andrew an answer to that question until friday morning. Well i gotta get some sleep will catch up more later. Goodnight